The Offseason Doldrums

As a rather intense baseball fan, I get quite a bit out of the offseason. I really enjoy following the trades, free-agent signings, Hall of Fame voting and so forth. It’s not as much fun as the actual baseball season, but there’s enough going on to keep me excited. And during the offseason, I love talking about such things with other baseball fans. The problem is that most baseball fans I know do little other than follow their own team’s moves. That means I have to stay on top of the A’s moves, the Giants’ moves, the Dodgers’ moves, etc., if I’m to engage these people in some serious offseason baseball chat. The problem is, these other fans don’t return the favor.

So I go up to coworker #1, let’s call him Sonny. So, Sonny’s a Giants fan. He follows his team well enough to know what’s going on with them. He knows Bonds is gone and that they signed Aaron Rowand. The Bonds situation is a bit tired, so Rowand’s my in. “So, Aaron Rowand, eh?” I offer. “Interesting pickup.” He replies, “Yeah, he’s a great signing. Good middle-of-the-lineup bat.” I counter, “They gave him a pretty hefty contract though. Is he worth that?” Sonny ponders this question and replies, “Sure. We’re the Giants. If we can pay Zito twice that, then why not?” Touché. Sonny continues, “The Pirates made any big moves?” Gulp. I say, “We just picked up Josh Wilson on waivers.” Sonny gives me condescending “Oh,” pats me on the shoulder and walks away.

Along comes coworker #2, heretofore known as Johnny. He’s a Dodgers fan. “What an offseason for your Dodgers, huh? First Joe Torre as your new manager and then Andruw Jones signs to play centerfield.” Johnny replies, “Oh, I know. I’m very excited. The division is tough, but we already have a number of great players. This could be our year.” I immediately jump in with, “Did you hear the Pirates signed Chris Gomez?” Johnny says,” Who? Should I know that name?” “Oh yeah, he’s a big-time veteran. He’s played for loads of teams. Baltimore, Tampa, San Diego. Lots more even,” I say. “I’ll take your word for it,” Johnny says.

Just then, coworker #3, Jimbo the A’s fan, trots over. “Argh, you see they traded Swisher too? First Haren and now Swisher,” he growls. “Oh yeah, I heard about that. But you got some good prospects from those trades,” I say. “Tell me about it. Our minor leagues are in great shape now. Haren’s a tough loss, but I ain’t gonna miss that hippie Swisher. Good riddance, I say. Argh,” Jimbo says. “So,” I say, “do you want to hear who the Pirates might sign?” Jimbo tilts his head and looks at me cock-eyed. “Now why the hell would I want to do that? I’m goin’ back to work.” He stomps off.

Okay, so maybe these are slight exaggerations. But who’s to blame for this awkwardness? My semi-ignorant baseball fan coworkers (if you’re reading this, and you were able to decode my aliases, my sincerest apologies) for not reading up on all 30 teams? Or is it me for spending way too much time doing said reading, as well as for following a lackluster team? Or is it the Pirates for making news only with bad news? It can't be me or the Pirates, right? So it must be the first one.